Posts Tagged ‘body language’

Welcome to part 2 of my discussion on body language! If you missed part one, it is here, and if you missed the original post that inspired me to write about this, written by my friend Morgan, it is here. You will probably want to read these first or you might get a little confused, as I will be referencing both of them.

So, diving right into more about why Body Language is an ignored art.

One of my coworkers made a valid point about how body language can be deceiving. For example, if you are a naturally nervous person, you can look unapproachable even when you want to be approached, or, rather, wouldn’t mind being approached. And, I suppose, the opposite can also be true.

But in Morgan’s case, her body language illustrated that she didn’t want to be approached, and she did indeed not want to be approached. At least, not in the manner she was that night at the bus stop. When we discussed this, she speculated that it’s far more likely that rather than not picking up on it, he just didn’t care or saw it as a challenge.

Then there was the guy who approached my friend and I in a coffee shop. I closed up with my body language, and he didn’t pick up on it at all. He just kept talking to us. (Although he probably had some other issues because he didn’t even slow down when we told him we weren’t available.)

This is why body language has become an ignored art.

Morgan also informed me that on youtube, there are pick-up artist training videos that have whole sections on how, when girls are giving “closed-off” body language, a guy should do all these things to try to change it rather than just leaving them alone.

So here’s a radical idea: Guys, when you are thinking about trying to pick up a girl – don’t just get advice from other guys, try getting some advice from girls. Nothing like the source to find out what REALLY works.

Another side to the body language issue is that some people find it very difficult to read body language. As one of my coworkers put it, there are a lot of people who are not as well socialized who just want to make friends but have no idea what to look for.

Luckily, we live in a world with the internet, and countless people have written blog posts and articles about this very topic. If you don’t have people to talk to about reading body language, try searching the internet for resources. I did a search just now and there are LOADS of them. My post from last week included, as well as Morgan’s post from last month.

So, no more excuses. Start paying attention to body language, and if you don’t know what to look for, look it up on the internet. Also, use your words. And for the love of gods, don’t be generic when you want to start a conversation with a girl you don’t know, and think before you speak.

We have a lot of social media in our lives these days. I don’t think it’s entirely to blame for the communication gaps I’ve been talking about these last two weeks, but it is definitely a factor in all this. Another thing to keep in mind.

Alright, I’m keeping this one much shorter than last week’s, but feel free to keep the discussion going in the comments!

Listening to: Frank Turner – everything he’s ever done. Thank you Spotify.

Currently Reading: Succubus Shadows – the 5th book in Richelle Mead’s Georgina Kincaid series. It is just as excellent as the ones before it. I will be very sad when I read the end of book 6 and the story is finally over. My favorite part about this book so far is all the backstory we’ve been getting on Georgina. she’s almost 2,000 years old – and she has many stories to tell.

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