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Posts Tagged ‘anxiety management’

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If you are new to my blog, I am a graduate student. For me this means two very important things: 1) I like to find new and exciting ways to procrastinate instead of attempting the difficult work I have to do and 2) I am OFTEN stressed out and/or anxious and/or worried about a great many things. I do not like these things about myself, but I know I cannot change them overnight. So I have finally come up with a couple of “New Year’s resolutions” that will target these two things. In general, I want to procrastinate less and take better care of my anxiety/worry issues. These goals, while honorable, are rather vague and lofty. I also know I am not alone in having these problems, especially as a graduate student. If you want some better evidence than my word, take a look at PhD Comics. Read them. Realize you are not alone. Then realize that the only way out is through. (Or, you know, you could always quit. I would never think less of you for that, having had the experience I am having in graduate school. It’s just not my personal style to give up.)

I spend a lot of time being jealous of my friends who are no longer in graduate school, living their lives, working, coming home, and having the freedom to do what they want with their off-the-clock time. As a graduate student, we do not have off-the-clock time. Not really. I mean, sure, you need a mental health day a few times a month, but sometimes those are hard to justify with the amount of work we’re required to do. I honestly can’t wait for this experience to be over. But I cannot wish the next 8 months of my life away, and so I must change my attitude about it.

I have discussed my roller coaster emotions induced by my graduate school experiences. But I’ve never talked about my anxiety. It’s a personal issue, but it’s one that I know many people deal with every day. I also know that it is a manageable condition. A couple years ago I learned how to manage my anxiety really well. I was doing great.

Then I went to graduate school, left all my helpful tools for dealing with this problem at home, and anxiety has slowly crept back into my brain over the last year and a half. It’s annoying and frustrating. There’s a lot of self-doubt in graduate school (unless you are arrogant, which, you know, sometimes I wish I could be that in graduate school), a lot of pressure to get things done quickly – especially when you’re trying to do a 2-year Masters degree vs. a 5-6-year PhD. If you don’t think graduate school is stressful, you are wrong, or possibly not doing it right.

Anxiety is not an excuse, though. Yeah, it sucks, and it drags you through the mud, but it is never an excuse. I have come up with a few “resolutions” for this year to help me take control of my anxiety again. My hope is that in posting them here on my blog, I can hold myself accountable for them, and maybe even provide encouragement and/or help to people in similar situations. It’s possible the only person who is going to read this is my mother, but at least I can pretend that other people, people dealing with similar problems, will be in my corner cheering for me if I make this deal with the universe on my blog. I promise I’m in your corner.

My resolutions are these:

1. Limit my facebook usage to once a week, when I need to post my blog in my blog pact group. In order to accomplish this, I have signed out of the website on my laptop. I also don’t have facebook on my phone anymore, but I made that decision sometime ago last year. I’m only a couple days in, but it feels better already. Facebook for me is a time suck, and I would rather spend that time reading or getting more work done, or actually interacting with people in the physical world. This is more to target my procrastination issues than my anxiety, but it also helps reduce the guilt I may feel at perusing Facebook when I need to be doing something else.

2. Exercise daily. Even if it’s just the short 4-block walk from my car to campus and back. Everything I’ve read lists exercise as the number one way to get anxiety under control. It’s science. Not science I understand, because I’m a geologist rather than a biologist or chemist, but it is tangible. I notice the difference when I exercise vs when I don’t. If walking isn’t your thing, and you want to try this too, I highly recommend one of those 7-minute workout apps, specifically one that rewards you for reaching goals, like working out 3-days in a row, or for 30 minutes, or whatever. This is my first line of defense against anxiety.

3. Go to sleep earlier/sleep more. This will consist of only allowing myself ONE episode of TV on my iPad in bed, or none at all, and reading. When I am horizontal and reading, it is very easy for me to fall asleep. It’s easier with my kindle, because I don’t have to worry about turning a light off (but I might even get a new lamp that allows me to just hit it – anywhere – to turn it off). I also need to be better at getting up in the morning, so I can justify stopping working and heading home from campus when I no longer wish to continue for the night. Going to sleep earlier seems like the best place to start. Also, better sleep means less anxiety. This particular method may not work for everyone, but if you’re struggling with anxiety and worry like I am, find a method that works for you.

4. Re-educate myself on dealing with anxiety. Join a therapy group. Read articles online about methods for dealing with anxiety. Read inspirational quotes about managing anxiety. Do one of those thought-journal things. These are all things that will aid in my re-education (and that reminded me of Richelle Mead’s Bloodlines series and the last book is coming out soon yay!), and they might help with yours, too. Managing anxiety is all about having a toolbox of skills and methods to help you. Yes, it takes work, but the place to start is building that toolbox.

5. Eradicate the word “should” from my vocabulary. “Should” is a terrible word. It brings with it massive negative connotations, and heaps of guilt when it’s directed at yourself. This is something I do remember from my days of well-controlled anxiety. Replace it with words like “need” or “want.” It can also lead you to make life decisions that contradict what you actually want to do with your life, and that doesn’t help anyone. “Should” is an awful word. Get rid of it.

Five resolutions kind of feels like a lot, but I think they are all manageable because they are directed, and they’re all stepping-stones toward my overarching goals for this year.

Also, this is a fantastic thing to read if you struggle with stress/anxiety as much as I do. It’s on Captain Awkward’s website, written by Elodie Under Glass as a guest post. The Thought Catalog is also a great resource for tips to deal with anxiety. I recently found their list of inspirational quotes about anxiety to be helpful. Sure, some of them are kind of cheesy, but there are some really good ones in there that I’m going to try to keep in mind this year.

I feel better already having just written this, and I hope this post meant something to those of you who are struggling with anxiety as well. It is not the end of the world. We can manage this.

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